Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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