And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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