I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
