Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
