you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I believe in your delicious
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
