What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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