i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
