you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
