That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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