Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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