In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We got so high we made milksteak
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
