never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
