I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
