so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize