Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
