she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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