please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
