i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
