this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
