so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
