I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize