Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
