i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
