So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
