Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
