Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
