OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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