Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize