You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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