thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
