found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How naked do you want me to be?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
