She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
