You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
and she was petting her beer can
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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