my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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