My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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