He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
