I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just invented taco cereal.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
