Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
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He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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