KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
