I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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