I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
