her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
