Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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