Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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