he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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