god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
