you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
