Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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