It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize