Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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