I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
