Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
