Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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