so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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