pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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