Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
