how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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