Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
